Since I write reports in the media on the goings on of government entities, I am an observer…I watch what people do and I pay very close attention to what they say, and I notice their incongruences…and I write. Here’s just a few of my observations in the last couple of years…I hope you find them as entertaining as I did when I came up with these headlines.
“Newly seated school board members vote to approve closed session minutes of a meeting they were never at….” I don’t fault them. I fault those that allowed them to vote on it. Or is this some initiation ritual? (To be fair, I did some investigation into this, and it is allowed. But it still seems weird.)
“School board member announces that his school is Number 1 out of 25 other schools in English language arts, to resounding applause by local teachers.” The problem is, those 25 schools are all in the bottom half of the state, so how great can that be? And what about those applauding teachers?
“Township clerk reads minutes of previous meeting, leaving out most of it…” Well, that’s a lie on the record.
“Township clerk gives no report on the subsequent special meeting held to undo decisions from that previous meeting.” Another lie.
“Outgoing township supervisor hides records and software from incoming supervisor, then takes custody of the scene of the crime in deal made by a lawyer.” Well, that one is pretty self-explanatory.
“School principal announces goal at beginning of the year was to “love kids and have fun.” I guess with no academic expectations, no one is let down.
“Road commissioner’s wife disrupts meetings shouting at board that their actions are illegal. When asked what specifically was illegal about it, she doesn’t know.” Maybe doing some research would be good before making public accusations and disrupting meetings.
School board president comes out fighting, says building committee was not appointed by the board and not subject to OMA, but the board used to have a committee…” Thanks for the information for my next FOIA request.
“LOTS of votes were lost in primary election due to over vote tabulations by the voting machines, county clerk says losing candidate is okay with it…” Say what??????
“Male board president cites proof he’s not sexist: Female head of discrimination committee not complaining about losing out to less qualified male…..” I’m speechless.
“Democrats register 92 year old dementia patient to vote, turn in wrong name at county clerk’s office….” Looks like the registrar has dementia too….
“States Attorney quips, ‘Just ask reporter…she knows everything…'” Well, she really doesn’t, but she’s working on it….
“School board president repeatedly chastises public for not allowing district to borrow $11 million to sit in the bank…” And we are the dummies. Who is minding this ship?
“Reporter does editorial hit job on county board, accusing them of selfishness; misses meeting where board actually gives money away…” I guess everything is fair game.
“Public officials tell reporter ‘Don’t print this’ at meeting open to the public.” What? Is it a secret?
Responding to FOIA request, lawyer for school board says, “Yes, we appointed committees, but we didn’t really expect them to meet…” How about all those phone calls and texts between members?
Senior class holds Bingo fundraiser, but calls it Bunga to avoid licensing; others follow suit…I guess if boys can be girls and girls can be boys, Bingo can be Binga, Bunga, or whatever the hell you want it to be these days.
Not a good look: Local business owner makes major TIF request for his business, then takes vacation overseas...say what?
Yes, I’m keeping a running record….for history. Maybe I’ll get a job with The Babylon Bee.
Watching The Nation 